If respect for others is your belief, how does that appear in you?
I really hate those mothers comparing their child’s strengths to other child’s. It is neither healthy nor respectful. Even if others compliment my child but attach a label of comparison, well I thank for the compliment but I abhor the comparison whether it is a positive or a negative aspect of comparing.
We must never compare our children and other child to them. Because we can never judge, a child that is not ours for only the mother knows her child well.
When other people criticize my child of being a “slow” eater, well all I do is…think that – I KNOW MY CHILD WELL THAN YOU DO. I know that my child really hates a big crowd and he finds it difficult to eat when too noisy and crowdie. However, of course, you cannot insist that to the mind of those commentators. Can you tell them that he eats well when ONLY “US” around and when nobody is watching and not to mention, comparing him? Well of course, it is going to be a long debated topic.
Whenever my eldest son hears other people saying that he is like this and like that, and that this child is like this while he is not, it is so heartbreaking to me seeing that he is hurt of what he heard.
It is typical for some to utter their thoughts and comment, but I wish they realized too how the child would feel about it. I know my son understands everything he hears and that he already has the conception of insecurity. I do not want my child hate other people especially because he hears such unmerited comments and such comparisons are always on the line. I want him pay respect to everyone else around but how could he manage not to hate them even a bit if he is always hurt? I do not want to break his innocence to hatred.
Explaining, that is what I always do. Clearing up things to him will wipe away the hurt and the insecurity inculcated in his mind and in his sensitive young heart. I always tell him that because they just want him to learn this and that. But there is always a conflict in this. He would always ask me if he is not an intelligent child not to know what is good and what is not good for him that is why other people always criticize him… Oh well, that is the real job of a mother. To always be at his side and explain things that bother him and help him construct fair judgments.
Of course, moms out there, you cannot run other people. Just let them think and say of what they think is right to say. For as long as we know our children well, there is no burden to carry but always think of the positive traits of our children and focus on it and help them become MORE confident on where they excel most. We are here to guide them and be their armor against insensitive individuals not realizing the feelings of a child. After all, they can never top the love of a mother.
Every child has his own phase of development and his own strengths. I thank God so much that my children are growing just the right way. My eldest performs well in school and my youngest is seeing a hint of being an outstanding child too. Nevertheless, I do not weigh them against other kids.
I know the feeling when your child is being compared and I do not want to do it to others even if they are not completely aware. Be it negative or be it positive. I value respect for other kids and for their moms as well. For no mother wants her child to be compared.
Well Except for some who love to compare their child’s strengths against the weaknesses of other child? For those who compare, have you realized that you only contribute to the development of insecurity of that child? In time, your child will realize too how bad you were. Ha ha ha.
REMINDER:
You were once
and
You will be a mother too.
